Hang on to This Moment

...It will be all over soon.

Lyrics from an amazing song called Pleads and Postcards by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, you should check it out. These also happen to be the perfect words for the end of the most amazing part of my life so far, which, fittingly, has just helped me usher in my twenty-third year (belated birthday gifts always welcome).

I was so afraid of turning twenty-three because, to me, it meant starting a new phase of my life: graduation, a "real" job and applying to Nursing school. It meant becoming a grown-up. Being twenty-two was comfortable and easy. I had that part of my life figured out already.

But is being "comfortable" with my life really all that I want? No. Non, even (you see, when you say it in French it has more sass). If that's what I wanted I would have stayed in Michigan instead of moving to Paris for four months -- and believe me, it crossed my mind. But move I did, and it changed my life in ways I couldn't have begun to imagine. I feel and see things so much more deeply -- I have truly come alive.

I am afraid, though, that I will never feel things as profoundly as I have while living in Paris. That perhaps this is a temporary state that will pass as soon as I step foot on US soil. Or maybe it's simply small changes that have resulted in this drastic new self-awareness. If I can somehow transfer pieces of my Parisian life back to Michigan, maybe I can retain this new outlook on life. So, here goes. I vow to (try to) continue:

-Enjoying little pleasures, like a hot cup of café crème,
-Enjoying my own company and reveling in being alone,
-Not over thinking every detail,
-Trying new things,
-Being BRAVE,
-Making mistakes and laughing at myself afterward,
-Being nice to people who aren't nice to me (well, have you ever met a Parisian waiter -- have you??).

It takes me a long time to warm up to people. It takes me an even longer time to love them. It must be that way with with cities too. But when I love you, you stay with me. So, I'm going to run headfirst into my twenty-third year. I'm going to appreciate how wonderful it can feel to live. I'm going to embrace Paris, hold it close, because all too soon it will be time to let go.